|
|
|
I'm totally tweaked out. If that's the phrase. I'm published (again)! This time on my own, this time just a little book review, but ... this time it is a little different. Because I dared, dared to actually critique the book. I actually pointed out several flaws in the author's presentation and reasoning, while also commending the good parts of the book (of which there were many).
But, for some reason, in the MT world, people don't usually properly critique books. There's a lot of ass-kissing and warm-and-fuzzy goodness that goes on, and I'm not sure why it needs to be that way. The field can't grow if we deny having differences of opinion, and it seems to me that those differences are only amplified in this kind of atmosphere. Yet again my university will gain a point for being a "troublemaker" because I didn't glow endlessly about this author's brilliance in this little review. And maybe this is why I didn't publish it for 3 years, I was too nervous to put it out there, but my advisor and his colleagues all said it needed to be out there. So ... I took a deep breath and sent it out. It was accepted no problem (book reviews aren't usually difficult to get accepted), and I've been waiting several months to see it.
Now I'm bracing myself for fallout, backlash, whatever. So far nothing negative has come through the email box yet, but a distant friend did compliment me for it already (before the journal issue had even arrived at my house!). I find this position very unnerving to be in. I'm high on taking the risk, of calling a spade a spade, and yet also scared to death of what this might do for my future in academia. I know a single book review won't ruin my future, but still -- this is a weird, incestuous, political field. We shall see.
In the meantime, I'm tweaked. Ready to wrestle with anyone who has a problem with the damn review.
Come on. I can take you.
|
|
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
|
|
|
So I have finally been able to separate a bit from school stuff, had a few days to relax with Neil and Julia, and I'm feeling good. Yeah.
Even had some time to surf over to LLR's conservative (cRazY conservative) blog and get myself worked up a bit. The woman is incredibly intelligent, throws around $2 words as if she were a verbal millionaire and overflows with self-righteousness that would make any televangelist appear weak-kneed and infantile in comparison. But her logic is consistently flawed, rife with strawmen and inconsistency, and yet her blogging peers consider her infallible.
Since I can't link directly to this blog (I do want to preserve hers and my identity a bit) I'll link to a blog that this conservative thing linked to in order to show the kind of thinking that goes on:
http://www.firstthings.com/blog.php?blog_link=secondhand-smoke
It astounds me how insulated these people must be to think that anyone who holds views contrary to theirs are completely evil and utterly inhuman in their actions. That materialism = total loss of morals, that abortion is absolutely and always wrong and murder, etc. I can't go on, I'll start biting off my keyboard. I have to reassure myself that these are the loud minority, a vocal and tiny group, and that the internet is a place where just about anyone can post their crap. But I can't help but get anxious when I see the quality of thought that people in these blogs possess. I fear for our world's future, I really do.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
|
So the second grant application is in. Instead of waves of relief, or feeling my kinked-up neck unknotting, or a mild case of euphoria, I am feeling rather meh about it. The application is good, kick-ass, even, but despite my attempts to make it appealing to the audience to whom it is directed, I fear that it will be regarded as not at all up their alley. In short, it may be a lead balloon in music therapy land. Bah.
And while I don't mind going against the national political grain in my field -- I welcome it, really -- it's when it gets to affecting my personal professional life that it starts to hit home. Maybe now I'm really earning my stripes, because unless these conflicts directly affect you, it's all theoretical stuff anyway.
But in really practical terms, what does this mean if my dissertation doesn't get funded? If I get neither the NIH thing or this thing? I guess I'll just have to pay for it myself, somehow. Or find yet another source, but at this point putting together another grant application may mean not getting funded until winter, maybe. And I'll probably be ready to start come September/October or so. How frustrating to be set to go, but just be short on cash. ARGH.
Anyway, for now, though, I really need to just recover from this incredibly insane semester. I still have final grades to work out for my class, but after that I can seriously chill out. And do really lovely concrete things like.... cleaning! And gardening! Whoohoo! Still have some RA hours to make up, but that looks manageable and shouldn't impact the summer too much.
In the meantime, Julia is thriving and lovely. And becoming so sweetly self-aware -- last night just as I was about to put her to bed, she said, "Julia sad." I think it was just because the day was ending and she didn't want to go to bed yet. But when I reminded her that she had her bunny and the music playing (gotta love those transitional objects) she was fine and went to sleep without a whimper. What a girl.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Saturday, April 4th, 2009
|
|
|
It's just past mid-semester... maybe more like 2/3 of it, now.
I've just submitted my NIH grant application. Whoooo. Hoooooo. That was an incredibly OCD, nitpicky, busting-my-bum kinda project. I better get something good out of all that.
And at the least, yes, I did get my introduction to the Dissertation written as part of the grant writing process, so I have that all sorted at least. And Dear Advisor really really liked it. YAY. What's especially nice is that I had a feeling it was really good, and so it was good to have him corroborate that. I think I'll be able to trust myself even more when I sense that I've done good work.
It's been a good semester with Dear Advisor so far, and I am very glad I've had these opportunities to work with him. He's been somewhat hands-off with the teaching supervision, but when necessary he's been critiquing me and doing so in a very loving, respectful way. I'm not sure I expected that, and it's been really wonderful. Because of course, I probably would beat myself up far more than he really could anyway. The biggest "ah ha" moment was in realizing that I don't have to rely on books and theories to teach this class, because that's not what I know. So why teach from there, an area I am weak in, when I am perfectly capable of teaching from my own knowledge base -- doesn't matter if I've never worked with kids, I know the basics and that's all my students need to know right now. And so why make my life so stressful by prepping for hours and hours when I can do a far more effective job just getting into the music and experimenting? And that's what the students want anyway, so we all win, big-time. So that revelation has helped me a lot this month, truly.
I am not going to work today. At least, not on school stuff. I need a break desperately, and so I'm going to relax during Ju's nap, and I think we'll go out and play in a little while. Yay. Work can wait until tomorrow and that's as it should be.
|
|
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
|
|
|
So never mind the previous entry -- I didn't get to the second round of that award process, though putting together the proposal was interesting and got me thinking about possibilities for making that UK connection somehow. Though I won't be able to do much about it in the near future, I think it's worth thinking about making some networking stops along the way for our next trip over there.
In the meantime, this is the craziest month ever, and I am working hard -- to not panic, to be systematic to get shit done, to keep head above water. When I feel overwhelmed, I do have to remind myself of what I've been able to accomplish in terms of getting practical details for the dissertation worked out -- this week I met with a neurologist and techs at the outpatient EEG lab at the hospital where I will probably conduct my research, and got a lot of technical information and answers for the method worked out. The people there, while busy, were so helpful and supportive, and I think it's going to be great working with them. I have to remind myself, though, that good research starts by making the time to network and relate to the people who can make or break the whole project. So it does me no good to get impatient or frazzled, even if I have to wait around at the hospital for a couple hours to meet with someone. Ugh. Just need to be prepared for those times.
But I am busting my ass to write a fellowship grant app for the NIH (dear God, _THE_ NIH?!!? Who am I to be doing such a thing?) which is due at the beginning of April for this cycle. I think my chances of getting it are slim, really, but the experience of writing it will be good prep for another major grant I'm applying for with a deadline in May. Because I really need the money to do this -- gotta pay the techs to set up the EEGs, gotta pay the doc to read the EEGS, probably have to pay for the lab materials, and I have to be able to eat! I won't have an assistantship after this semester, probably, and my future (limited) employment prospect that I was promised looks shaky enough (due to those shrinking budgets of the day) that I won't even mention it here. Health care? Mortgage payment? Daycare? Oy. Neil's new lawyer salary (and lack of reasonable premiums for benefits) isn't enough to do it all by itself, so I have to find some bucks. Wish me luck.
All this means that I probably won't be able to defend the proposal this spring, but likely August or so. Who knows if I can graduate by May of '10, but I'll just keep plugging away.
Back to it... hello, grindstone...
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Sunday, January 25th, 2009
|
|
|
How weird would it be if I was able to scrounge up a proposal to do some music therapy thing in England this summer and won a bunch of $$ to do it?
Got nominated for an award which requires me to write up a proposal by Feb. 1st for some project (outside of my schoolwork, that can't interfere with my schoolwork); the award would fund said project up to a pretty ridiculous amount of $$. Now, it's obviously competitive and there's non-MT people up for it too (several MTs in the running as well), and the last thing I need is to start another project. But finishing the GIM training, that might be a possibility... so if I could quickly work out some logistics, that would be pretty sweet. Neil even says to go for it. Might begin to get me some schmoozing time over there, too. So I guess we'll see what I can whip up.
In the meantime, I highly recommend Writing Your Dissertation in Fifteen Minutes a Day. Gotten me a little more grounded and less overwhelmed with the Great Diss. I think it's gonna kick ass, if I can pull it off. So I just gotta make myself a schedule and stick to it.
Tomorrow I teach my first class for the semester, so wish me luck -- about twice the size of last year's class, and I'm being supervised by Dear Advisor this semester -- intimidating as hell, but also I'm certain will be ann extremely rich and rewarding experience. I'm strangely looking forward to it. We'll see how I feel about that in a month or two.
|
|
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
|
|
Tuesday, January 6th, 2009
|
|
|
Back from our Christmas and New Year's holiday in England -- which was simply wonderful, truly. I am wishing at the moment that we could just turn around and go back again, not just because of the mountain of work that awaits me at home, but because we really did have a fantastic and relaxing time. Julia got to play with her relatives (three little cousins, a fourth on the way), and we got to relax and play in Cornwall and Wales, and even though it was bitterly cold I thoroughly enjoyed walking Julia around castles and medieval walls.
And yes, it's still impossible to get a decent cup of coffee in England, and yes, I do feel my nutritional intake is less than stellar there because it seems so much harder to eat decently, and yes, things are generally more expensive there, and yes, there is the awkwardness of dealing with that one side of Neil's family.... but it really would be incredible if we could somehow figure out a way to live there, even just part-time. London. Oh, dearest London, it would be great to live there again.
And yes, London's air is dirty, and yes, it's a crazy, high-strung city, and yes, we'd have to live in a tiny place if we moved back there, and yes, there's always some kind of political drama there (got caught up in an anti-Israel protest on Saturday while trying to meet up with Neil and Julia at Kensington Gardens, THAT was slightly scary). But it's LONDON -- beautiful and rich and so cosmopolitan and fun. It was a bit different experiencing it with a toddler this time, that's for sure, but we still enjoyed it nonetheless.
While walking around London this past weekend, Neil and I mused about how we could get back there. How could we make this happen? And basically, our only option is to come into a large sum of money somehow. And neither of us have any rich relatives about to kick the bucket, and so we're stuck with the lottery or some crazy impossible-to-conceive and just as unlikely to happen scenario. I still think that maybe, someday, I could find a way to get lecturing gigs over there during the summers or something, but I haven't been networking with the British Music Therapy scene like I should in order to make such an opportunity happen. So maybe it's time I start thinking about that. Which means somehow finding someone over there who would be willing to share with me what would make me appealing to the BSMT folk. Another long-term project I don't really need.
Because here's the List:
- dissertation. Which includes finding $ for next year (probably won't get an assistantship) and generally getting my ass in gear. It's all so overwhelming right now, and I feel like I'm getting nowhere.
- GIM training. Oh yeah, THAT. I seriously need to wrap this up. And I suspect that it might help in the UK networking thing, too, since perhaps I could do something along the lines of training over there? I don't think anyone's doing that currently.
- The house: The garbage disposal died while we were away, and I've already bought a new one, but then of course we need to install it. My sister, who has been living with us the last few months (another long story) is now moving out, which means we have some space to tackle projects like the shelves that fell off the wall in Julia's room (which became my sister's room, as now Julia's in the study). And there's the crumbling plaster in the dining room for which we have no idea what could be the cause, and the awful water pressure that really requires a new water inlet pipe from the street to really fix. That's just the urgent stuff -- there's things that's needed to be done for a while, like window shades here in the back room where I work and a new rug and shades/curtains for the living room...
- Neil's Christmas present - which is a faboo idea, but will take time to execute. I've already enlisted help for it, but I fear it'll be another long project.
So how to make time for it all? Is it time to admit that I really do have a full-time job between my assistantship and the dissertation, and send Ju to daycare for at least 4 days/week? Ugh. I will be mulling this over, methinks.
More to mull over later -- but for now, the little one is eating dinner, and poor jetlagged child needs a little extra love.
|
|
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
|
|
Wednesday, November 26th, 2008
|
|
|
Emerging from a sea of neurophenomenological and philosophical reading...
What's been nice with Ju going to daycare is that I now have lots of time to do work -- fabulous time. And much of it on the computer. And that's not necessarily good, because I am highly distractible and find myself checking facebook or my email or other favorite websites a hundred times whenever whatever I'm doing becomes the slightest bit boring or tedious. Need to come up with a plan for that.
One of the things I have been checking up on of late is the website and blog of my Long Lost Relative (who shall hereafter be known as LLR). LLR is an extremely intelligent person, a professor, a philosopher (though I'm a bit ambivalent calling her that, but that's her self-appointed title) and one who shares an uncanny list of other characteristics with me, though we have never met. On the other hand, she couldn't be more opposite -- crazy Christian conservative, and socially and politically conservative as well. Neil accuses me of "stalking" her on the net. Maybe I am, and the fact that I can't bring myself to post responses to her writing (even anonymously) probably confirms that. On the other hand, I know I certainly couldn't ever say anything that would change her mind. She is absolutely anti-abortion under any circumstances. Devout in her appreciation for the "one holy, catholic and apostolic church." Homeschools the kids. And blames liberals and Muslims for all that is evil in today's world.
Today, though, in particular, I want to show her all this cool stuff I'm reading, as it's fantastic -- Ken Wilber, Francisco Varela... I think she'd probably like it to an extent, though I'm sure she'd detect some liberal thoughts in there that would turn her off in an instant. Though it shouldn't -- much of it jibes with some of her philosophical writings (which, on the surface, seem quite defensive) -- that externalism doesn't sufficiently explain the world, let alone consciousness; that spirituality can and does exist somehow, even if not objectively verifiable, etc. It's the part in Wilber where he makes the point of accepting "all views, all the time" that would probably get him in trouble -- more liberal relativism there, which doesn't fit with LLR's belief in infalliable truth... which is out there, somewhere.
All of the reading, though, is somehow related to the Great Dissertation. Holy Cow. And it's only expanding what I see possible in my research. It'll prolly piss off Dear Advisor greatly when I get back to him on what I've learned, but it's his own fault -- he told me to read this stuff.
Onward... have a wonderful T-Day!!
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Saturday, November 15th, 2008
|
|
|
No, this isn't about the election (though what a wonderful day that was... holy crap!)... but another genre of politics.
So, yeah, hi, it's been a while again... I've been trying to keep my head above water this semester, between running Julia around to friends for my half-assed daycare arrangements and then trying to keep up with my 20 GA hours a week. I wasn't getting my work done for the department, let alone starting my dissertation proposal. I did manage to pick one other committee member, and in briefing said member on the topic, said member offered to grab me a related dissertation while out of the country visiting the university where this dissertation was done. I tried to locate the dissertation myself, but unable to do so, I said, yeah, sure. Get it for me.
I won't go into the sordid details, but basically in getting Said Committee Member's (SCM) help with this one little thing, I opened up a can of worms that has, apparently, left me politically vulnerable in our little incestuous academic world.
Advisor and I sat down later to meet and discuss this, and he finally oriented me to the whole dissertation proposal and writing process. But Jesus, it would have been helpful to know that dissertation land is so damn political. The choice of committee members is not necessarily about their expertise, but about often about who will hamper me the least in finishing the degree. And about who will let Dear Advisor do his job and not take over the process. And until my topic is clear and set and ready, it cannot be discussed outside of Advisor's and my conversations. You'd think we were working on the Manhattan Project or something.
But I do acknowledge several things: One, I work way too independently. I really would rather not have anyone looking over my shoulder while I sort out what I want to write about. But I'm realizing that, especially with this topic, I will need to let Advisor in more. I also acknowledge that I really needed to have the time and energy to work on this in a way that I didn't really need to before with my other projects -- and that my schedule was not allowing that. Not that I was half-assed with my other projects, but they were simpler ideas, in many ways, and so I didn't have to do as much preparation before I knew what I was writing about. This thing requires so much more knowledge in philosophy and neuroscience... and I definitely am no expert in those areas.
So, I was feeling a bit distraught that I just didn't have the time to devote to my work -- and then I was waiting for a slot to open at a daycare where a friend sends her son (and she was really happy with the place). I thought I was on the waiting list... and then... poof. I called and learned that they never had me on their waiting list, so though I was supposed to start her there in November, I wasn't going to be able until next summer. Fuck.
But it's all worked out -- I realized that there's a daycare literally around the corner from us (or, rather, through my neighbor's yards), and after interviewing there and a few other places, discovered just how wonderful the place is -- and cheap! So Ju started there this past week for three days/week, and so far it's going well. And can I tell you? I am a woman of leisure. I get SO much work done while she's there -- all my GA hours are done, and I got some literature pulled for the diss as well -- and so when I'm at home, I can totally enjoy being with Ju and Neil. I think this arrangement will be wonderful for our family's quality of life.
That being said, I will enjoy some time while Ju's napping.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Thursday, September 18th, 2008
|
|
|
Yay, dear friends, I am happy to announce that I, first, finished my prelim projects in time to submit them for a defense last week, and I passed both the exam and the defense!! So now I am supposed to be working on my proposal -- which at the moment has lots of logistical questions, including sorting out #3 on my committee (the outside discipline person, who we hope can be our expert on EEG and neuro studies). Oh, the working title: "A Neurophenomenological Description of the BMGIM Experience." Mixed-method, analyzing music and imagery and EEG responses and first-person description of the imaging experience. Could be crazy, could be cool, we'll see.
In the meantime, Ju is walking! Little short distances, but gaining confidence each day. She is incredibly cute, and incredibly wonderful, even though she is discovering her will at the same time. Which means she knows how to say NO. But we parents are learning the power of distraction, so we'll see how that helps.
I am very glad, though, that I worked as hard as I did to get the projects done over the summer -- the teaching and research work is taking a lot of my time, so I have very little left over after parenting and working and tending to basic living needs. My daycare arrangement is working alright, but I wish I had a little more coverage, so I'm going to have to see if we can do anything about that.
Speaking of all this work makes me anxious to get some done while She naps... so I will update more later.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Tuesday, August 5th, 2008
|
|
|
What a killer couple weeks... and it's not done yet.
So this summer I thought I'd try to finish up a couple of my preliminary exam projects for the PhD, the last two of the seven, and in an ideal world I'd defend them this fall.
Now, in an ideal world I was going to finish these things before Julia was born, but that obviously didn't happen, and so I learned to not be too optimistic with these things. I know that they need time to be refined, to age, to become their full potential. So if I didn't finish them enough for a September defense, that was fine by me. No hurry. I could defend later in the semester.
But a colleague (who had been babysitting for me so I could make progress on these things) made me realize that I will not have such an open schedule to work on these things come fall. I will be a TA all next year, plus 10 hours a week on more research assistantship duties. I'm already looking into daycare arrangements for Julia, but I know that I won't have a lot of that time for my own work like I did this past year. So I really need to make the most of these precious free hours I have right now, before the school year starts. And if I can get these projects done, then all next year I can start proposing the dissertation, and that's a year of guaranteed funding with these assistantships. Delay it by even one semester, and I might not have funding for that semester (though I hope to, but it's not guaranteed). So even though it may be expensive, it's worth paying a sitter for a few days a week to really get some work done.
And that's what I've done, and it's been hard, hard work. I lost one paper along the way (you think I'd KNOW by now to back up my stuff regularly!), and also got stinging, smarting emails from Dear Advisor (though I suspect not as harsh as I'd heard others receive, so I'm grateful for that). Right now, today, everything's looking pretty good. Let's hope it stays that way. But I will be glad when all I have to do after dinner is put my feet up and chill, rather than head back to that computer and try AGAIN to cut down a long-ass paper that already feels incredibly distilled to me.
It'll be worth it, perhaps I'll be a candidate in a month or so. Wish me luck.
|
|
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
|
|
Wednesday, June 25th, 2008
|
|
|
Well, then. On Friday Neil and I celebrated ten years of marriage together. How amazing is that?
Ten. Years.
Man, we feel old.
I mean, 1998 isn't that long ago, right? It's like, really close to 2000. Which was practically yesterday. I mean, it's only 2008. Which is... eight years after 2000.
Shit.
1998 is as far away from now as 1988 was from 1998. And I guess 1998 was really that far away. Back then Neil and I were a mere 24 years old, fresh-ish out of college, about to embark on life as adults in the Real World. Weeks after the wedding I started my first proper career job in Philly, and after he got his green card sorted out he started a job that he stuck with all the way through law school. We bought a house two years later. We both went to lots of grad school, and between us finished three degrees (with another on the way). We made new friends, visited old friends, saw family get married and move nearby, then away again. Saw my parents finally divorce, and saw his parents' new marriages grow. We grew a miraculous, amazing kid, and are still blown away by her every day.
And what's awesome about the whole journey is that we have become a richer Andi and Neil, more like our true selves, throughout it all. And of course, we are bonded by the experiences we share together day in and day out. We are changing, and yet we are still us, and still deeply in love with what brought us together in the first place and what keeps us together today.
When we got married, I was convinced God brought us together and would keep us together. But now I don't feel God (whatever God is) has as much a hand in this as I thought s/he would. We keep us together, because we are authentic with each other and demand nothing less. We have seen our parents' first marriages fail, and today we see friends' marriages fail. We know we cannot take each other for granted, we know we must work and compromise with each other because we respect each other that much. When we married, I feared the future and not being able to know with absolute certainty that "we" would work out. And dear Neil reassured me, saying, "All you can do is give it your best every day. And those days will add up to years, and it'll work out."
So the days have added up, and here we are. Grateful and amazed and very happy.
I love you, my dearest one. Happy anniversary.
|
|
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
|
|
|
Aiyee, yes, it's been a while again.
Spent most of yesterday watching graduation ceremonies at Temple. And was somewhat inspired, if not more than a little bored here and there. First I saw my four PhD colleagues receive their diplomas -- after being "hooded" and having their dissertation titles announced, and then being introduced as "Dr." so-and-so. Followed by a bear hug by Dear Advisor for each of them. Thrilling.
In the evening, I returned to campus with Julia and my mom to watch Neil walk the law school graduation. The law school has a tradition that graduates bring their children on stage as they accept their diplomas, which on a practical level seems crazy for a ceremony that starts at 7 pm -- as was noted in one of the three speeches given last night, there were 18 babies born to members of the class of 2008 -- so it was not exactly the best time to be dragging young children out for a long, drawn-out, public ceremonial exercise. And they did not start doling out diplomas until 8:30. Ugh. But Julia did surprisingly well, and I was exceedingly grateful that Neil's last name starts with 'H' (could have been a lot worse, a classmate with two toddlers had a last name starting with 'T') -- so when his row got up to approach the stage, I got Julia to him, and he walked her across the stage, we snapped pics, and we all headed out of the building right away. Though Neil was a little frustrated that the evening was too crowded to see and talk with most of his friends, I think he enjoyed it, and I was proud of him and glad he got to have that moment of recognition.
So yes. One day it'll be my turn. And even, astonishingly, one day it'll be Julia's turn. Which was perhaps the most touching thing to me of all from the whole day. Hard to imagine, but how cool that will be.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Wednesday, April 23rd, 2008
|
|
|
Sorry, guys. I live in f-ing Pennsyltucky.
At least my county went for Obama, we did our part.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Wednesday, April 9th, 2008
|
|
|
Zowie, it's been a while. Okay, briefly:
1) Presentation at the mini-conference went very well. In the process of preparing for it, I realized some things I need to do to edit the final report, so it was helpful working on that. Didn't get to schmooze as much as I would have liked, but hey.
2) Neil took the bar, he felt it went well, and then the other day we found out he passed!
3) Shortly after the bar exam, he was offered (and he accepted) a tax and estate-planning job. He's been there over three weeks now, and it's going well. Not a corporate, work 60-hours-a-week kinda thing, but a small firm with reasonable (40ish) hours, and decent (though not gigantic) salary. It's very strange to see him leave for work wearing a suit every day. But... it suits him. (ha.) Of course, it's tax season now, so that means he has to work 6 days/week and full days at that, but after the 15th things will calm down a bit. One more thing to get through... first school, then the bar exam, now this. But it'll happen.
4) We decided to take the week between Neil's old and new jobs to go traveling again... and we went to England. Basically because that was the only way we figured we'd be able to get a date night or two while we were away, because Neil's mom could babysit. And that's what we did, and it worked brilliantly, and I am happy to say that we had a very relaxing holiday. We even got a night away from the kiddo, staying at this very sweet pub in this coastal village outside of Penzance (yes, as in "The Pirates of... ") ... the food there was... ooooh, man. So tasty. I stuffed myself so silly I was nearly sick afterward. And Julia was very good for Grandma the entire time, which was very reassuring. She even slept better for Grandma than she does for us! In fact, she slept very well on the trip, and then regressed after we got home. But things are much better in the sleep department than they were when I last posted, so we hang in there.
5) I am trying to keep my head above water in r/t school -- my research course (my last course for the degree) is taking up most of my time, but fortunately it seems that all that work is going to get dumped into the final paper, so I shouldn't have too much more to do for that. I have been very slowly working on my two last prelim projects, but I'm not sure what state they will be in come the due date -- we'll just have to see. I would love to have them mostly done, and then spend the summer cleaning up all the projects and getting them ready for the oral defense in the fall. What helps is I have (finally) made some babysitting arrangements so I have some regular time to get a little work done, but I've also taken on a couple GIM clients, so I'm spending some of the babysitting time on that, too. Perhaps once Neil's done with tax season I can get more done on the weekend....
6) Over the past couple days I saw three of the four recent Ph.D. defenses in my program... absolutely thrilling and inspiring to see these women progress to this point. I am so excited and happy for them, because I know a little of the work that it took to complete this degree and I am in awe of their accomplishments. One day. I'll keep plugging away, and I'm slowly advancing. But one day, yep. That'll be me, too.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Sunday, February 10th, 2008
|
|
|
So, Ju's finally napping, Neil's headed out to study for a couple hours, my presentation is pretty much ready for the mini-conference tomorrow... whew!
There's been a heated debate/discussion over at Christianforums.com in the Anglican forum (again, I'm too lazy to figure out how to link to it right now) about whether and how toddlers should be welcomed in church services. Most people in the discussion are pro-kids and in favor of finding ways to welcome children of all ages in church, but there's one (excuse my French) prick who openly admits to glaring at parents the minute their baby lets out a single squawk and would be mortified if a toddler decided to wander across the aisle to another family's pew or wandered up to the altar during the Eucharist.
I'll admit that one reason (among many) that I haven't entered a church since Julia was born is because I know most of the churches around here would smile, shake my hand, and then immediately direct me to the nursery where I can sequester my child away from the All Holy Service because, really, we all would me more comfortable if she were taken off my hands and no one would have to hear her coo or fuss a little during the service.
Some posts in the CF discussion have mentioned parishes where pews were taken out along the aisle and replaced with bentwood rocking chairs. Where, apparently, at the recent consecration of the new bishop of Chicago, a carpeted area was placed right in front of the altar where kids could hang out, color, play with stuffed toys, and get a good view of everything that was happening in the colorful liturgy. And in another parish, families help out sleep-deprived parents dealing with a fussy kid by walking him or her around the sanctuary so that mom and dad can get a break and listen to the sermon. I've never been in parishes like that, parishes that thoughtful and open to others, and I'm sure that if they were that considerate to parents of young children, that they would likely be rich places for people of all ages.
If such a place existed around here, I might be able to let go of all my previous church baggage and simply enjoy such a wonderful community. It's a shame, then, that it seems such a place doesn't exist. Though I shouldn't write all the churches off around here so quickly, it is possible that changes have been made since we were church shopping oh... 7? 8? years ago. But I don't have the energy to church shop with a little kid. Maybe I'll just have to keep my ear to the ground and see what I can suss out.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Wednesday, February 6th, 2008
|
|
|
So... well! Things turned around mighty quick here!
I was sick for days. I won't describe details, but I found myself at the doctor's on Thursday morning still gastrically unhappy. I was told I was probably on the mend, but if things were still a problem on the 7th day of the ailment, that I had to get some labs done. Ick. Neil had taken Julia off my hands so I didn't have to bring her into the germy doc's office, and so he told me to meet him back at home when I was done. I walked in the front door...
And my sister was there! The one who lives in San Diego! She was standing in my living room!
Turns out her husband had a business trip in NYC, so they decided to swing down and visit -- and make it a surprise for my birthday. So that was really cool. Sis cooked some yummy bland food for me (oh, yeah - doc's orders for that day and the next, blah) and fussed over me. That was nice. And then Friday night she and her man babysat so ... Neil and I got our date night after all! We went out to see Juno and then had Starbuck's after (not much else around the theater) and finally got to talk grownup stuff (like, how his job interview went [brilliant] and where he'd like to work after law school, etc.). Unfortunately Ju woke up while we were away and melted down a little, but sis handled it like a pro and all was well.
I had a class all day on Saturday, but then mom came and visited that night and she and sis made a lovely meal and we ate and told stories and laughed our asses off. It was great fun. By then my guts were feeling much better and I was even able to tolerate a reprise of cheesecake for dessert -- seeing as that was the last thing I ate before I got sick in the first place, that was quite an accomplishment. :P
So sis and her man have headed back to CA, and Neil's trying to catch up on his bar study time. And Julia's sleep has gone even further to the dogs, as if that was possible. We're trying new game plans and hopefully things will improve. Drastically. Soon. Because nothing sucks more than sleep deprivation, I tell you. Wish us luck.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Monday, January 28th, 2008
|
|
|
Go figure. I mean, really.
Saturday afternoon all of us went to friends' in NJ for the afternoon, and on the drive home I began feeling a bit queasy. Like I'd eaten too much of the potluck we'd had. By the time we got close to home I just about ready to open the car door and hurl onto the roadside.
I caught the nastiest stomach bug seen this side of Venus. I'm still messed up, I can barely eat and I am so weak and tired. Fortunately neither Neil nor Julia have gotten sick -- for whatever reason. But I suspect this is the same viral thing that's worked its way through several families we know around here. Julia may have been protected by the rotavirus vax she's gotten, thank god.
Moral: Vaccinate your children!!! For the love of God!
So yeah. No date night for us after all. :( But our babysitters (who were the first we'd heard of to catch this same bug) said they can watch Julia in a couple weeks when we have a house concert to go to. So we'll work it out. For now I'll just keep trying to eat and see if I'll ever feel normal again. I HATE being sick. Hate hate hate.
|
|
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
|
|
Friday, January 25th, 2008
|
|
|
So Neil and I have arranged for babysitting via our next-door neighbors for tomorrow night. It's the weekend before my birthday, and we haven't been on a date night since mid-November, and we really need to get out.
The thing is, we have no idea what to do.
We could see a movie, we could check out a restaurant participating in Restaurant Week in Philly, we could go bowling, we could shop, we could find a concert somewhere...
The possibilities are, frankly, paralyzing. And I also think it would be good to stay in town, to not go into Philly, because Ju's been teething like a piranha high on coke (she now has a total of seven teeth, four of those sprouted in the last four days) and she hasn't been sleeping very well. What if she wakes a million times while our poor neighbor looks after her? I was hoping to put her down and let him camp out watching cable for the duration of the night, but maybe she'll choose to be difficult this one night.
But she has been able to stay down for at least 3 hours even on the worst nights, so maybe she'll be just fine and I need to relax.
Aiyee.
|
|
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
finellasmuse's journal
blah.
relaxed.
busy.
thoughtful.
geeky.
accomplished.
loved.
sad.
sick.